Moving out!
Find me at: maryanne.tumblr.com!
See you there & thanks for reading!
Friday, November 02, 2007
Meh.
So I went to West End (a delish dining hall on campus) with some friends today and I came to the realization that this was the first time I've been all year. WEST END, a place I could not live without Freshman year. THE West End, I worshiped when I was 18! This is the first time I've been back in months. My friend Stack who passed away in April as a result of what happened here used to work there. He'd pretty much ALWAYS be there around dinner time... working the pasta line with a smile and ready to strike up a good conversation. Maybe subconsciously I haven't gone back because I knew that he wouldn't be there and I knew that it would make me a lot sadder than I wanted it to. Death is hard to deal with. Sure enough, it has been 6 months already, and for the most part, day to day I'm okay. Days like today are just little blatant reminders that my friend is no longer here and for me, that's just incredibly difficult.
I also realized none of the faces there looked familiar. I must be OLD. Going to West End my first two years at Tech was a social event, you would run into EVERYONE. This time around, there were no familiar faces, and that was just kind of funny to me. I guess it's just an indication that the cycle keeps going whether you want it to or not. The new kids are coming in and you're leaving soon. I haven't thought about that at all. I will really miss this place. I know I'm not even halfway done with my Senior year yet, but honestly, I really LOVE this school and the memories I have here.
I guess that's what it boils down to though, in the end, it will just be you and your memories right?
So I went to West End (a delish dining hall on campus) with some friends today and I came to the realization that this was the first time I've been all year. WEST END, a place I could not live without Freshman year. THE West End, I worshiped when I was 18! This is the first time I've been back in months. My friend Stack who passed away in April as a result of what happened here used to work there. He'd pretty much ALWAYS be there around dinner time... working the pasta line with a smile and ready to strike up a good conversation. Maybe subconsciously I haven't gone back because I knew that he wouldn't be there and I knew that it would make me a lot sadder than I wanted it to. Death is hard to deal with. Sure enough, it has been 6 months already, and for the most part, day to day I'm okay. Days like today are just little blatant reminders that my friend is no longer here and for me, that's just incredibly difficult.
I also realized none of the faces there looked familiar. I must be OLD. Going to West End my first two years at Tech was a social event, you would run into EVERYONE. This time around, there were no familiar faces, and that was just kind of funny to me. I guess it's just an indication that the cycle keeps going whether you want it to or not. The new kids are coming in and you're leaving soon. I haven't thought about that at all. I will really miss this place. I know I'm not even halfway done with my Senior year yet, but honestly, I really LOVE this school and the memories I have here.
I guess that's what it boils down to though, in the end, it will just be you and your memories right?
RECENT OBSESSIONS!!!
- Dirty Sexy Money (the show)... I started watching it 2 weeks ago and now I'm in love. I can't get enough of this show. I will probably watch it from the beginning starting tomorrow.
- BCBG (this is not so much a recent obsession as it is an ongoing one) although RECENTLY, I've been thinking about how much I need to go home and raid this place. Again, I will always be a fan of their dresses. Their dresses make me never want to wear pants again. There's one for everything and they fit PERFECTLY.
- VT Soccer! The guys have been doing extremely well this season and the games are so much fun.
- Lunch and dinner dates with everyone. I haven't done this in a long time and it's been long overdue. I'm glad I'm taking the time to eat and socialize. Before, I'd just grab an apple or some yogurt and go, now, not so much and thankfully that's the case.
- Snail mail, I've started writing old school letters again. The stationary is out and ready to raid your mailbox!
- Hummus & Veggie wraps. Talk about a fusion of all things awesome. It's delicious and healthy too! My fav hummus has to be Sabra's roasted pine nut. I will put this on a wheat tortilla and fill it with red & green peppers, tomatoes, onions, mushrooms, and olives. I pretty much eat this for at least one meal, EVERY DAY. SOOO YUMMY.
- Dirty Sexy Money (the show)... I started watching it 2 weeks ago and now I'm in love. I can't get enough of this show. I will probably watch it from the beginning starting tomorrow.
- BCBG (this is not so much a recent obsession as it is an ongoing one) although RECENTLY, I've been thinking about how much I need to go home and raid this place. Again, I will always be a fan of their dresses. Their dresses make me never want to wear pants again. There's one for everything and they fit PERFECTLY.
- VT Soccer! The guys have been doing extremely well this season and the games are so much fun.
- Lunch and dinner dates with everyone. I haven't done this in a long time and it's been long overdue. I'm glad I'm taking the time to eat and socialize. Before, I'd just grab an apple or some yogurt and go, now, not so much and thankfully that's the case.
- Snail mail, I've started writing old school letters again. The stationary is out and ready to raid your mailbox!
- Hummus & Veggie wraps. Talk about a fusion of all things awesome. It's delicious and healthy too! My fav hummus has to be Sabra's roasted pine nut. I will put this on a wheat tortilla and fill it with red & green peppers, tomatoes, onions, mushrooms, and olives. I pretty much eat this for at least one meal, EVERY DAY. SOOO YUMMY.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
jotting a few notes for today...
1. Fall is finally here. Fall in Blacksburg is really the equivalent of a "mild winter." It is almost always 10 degrees warmer in Northern Virginia and that is just NOT fair. This morning was brutal. 25 degrees, frost on the windshield, bust out your hat and gloves cold. This is NOT fun seeing as it warms up to about 65 degrees during the day and it makes you feel like an idiot when you have on 9 layers of clothing because you are unfortunate enough to have early classes.
2. I love the crispness of the air in the Fall even though the weather in the morning kind of makes me miserable.
3. I find the juxtaposition of me being really warm (because I'm wearing a lot of layers) and my face and hands being really cold very characteristic of Fall here. In the winter, I am just cold all over. Like bone-chilling, why the hell did I leave the comfort of my delicious bed this morning, regretful cold.
4. I listen to a lot of Elliott Smith in the Fall... don't ask me why... I set myself up for really depressing music when it gets cold outside. By Winter, Bright Eyes is on rotation almost always... and then in the Spring, Guster comes onto the playlist. Funny how that works huh?
So far the songs that have been on rotation the most are as follows:
Angeles - Elliott Smith (possibly my fav Elliott song)
Between the Bars - Elliott Smith
I will follow you into the dark - DCFC
What Sarah Said - DCFC
The Greatest - Cat Power
A Stone - Okkervil River
Firefly - Saves The Day (I know laugh it up, I get so much crap for this. I LOVED this song in HS, and a part of me still does. Esp, belting it out with Matt on drunk nights. We will play this song and run up and down the street. It's really ridiculous actually - how have we not been arrested for drunk in public doing this yet?)
One Too Many Mornings - Bob Dylan
Lilac Wine - Jeff Buckley
Red Right Ankle - The Decemberists
Cathedrals - Jump Little Children
1. Fall is finally here. Fall in Blacksburg is really the equivalent of a "mild winter." It is almost always 10 degrees warmer in Northern Virginia and that is just NOT fair. This morning was brutal. 25 degrees, frost on the windshield, bust out your hat and gloves cold. This is NOT fun seeing as it warms up to about 65 degrees during the day and it makes you feel like an idiot when you have on 9 layers of clothing because you are unfortunate enough to have early classes.
2. I love the crispness of the air in the Fall even though the weather in the morning kind of makes me miserable.
3. I find the juxtaposition of me being really warm (because I'm wearing a lot of layers) and my face and hands being really cold very characteristic of Fall here. In the winter, I am just cold all over. Like bone-chilling, why the hell did I leave the comfort of my delicious bed this morning, regretful cold.
4. I listen to a lot of Elliott Smith in the Fall... don't ask me why... I set myself up for really depressing music when it gets cold outside. By Winter, Bright Eyes is on rotation almost always... and then in the Spring, Guster comes onto the playlist. Funny how that works huh?
So far the songs that have been on rotation the most are as follows:
Angeles - Elliott Smith (possibly my fav Elliott song)
Between the Bars - Elliott Smith
I will follow you into the dark - DCFC
What Sarah Said - DCFC
The Greatest - Cat Power
A Stone - Okkervil River
Firefly - Saves The Day (I know laugh it up, I get so much crap for this. I LOVED this song in HS, and a part of me still does. Esp, belting it out with Matt on drunk nights. We will play this song and run up and down the street. It's really ridiculous actually - how have we not been arrested for drunk in public doing this yet?)
One Too Many Mornings - Bob Dylan
Lilac Wine - Jeff Buckley
Red Right Ankle - The Decemberists
Cathedrals - Jump Little Children
Monday, October 29, 2007
Okay so here goes...
1. I woke up this morning with a stye. How annoying? Aside from bacteria, these can be brought on by stress. For those of you who know me, I am a germ-o-phobe so I'm going to have to say this one was a result of stress. It was really lame to have to deal with this morning but NOTHING that some great make up tips from the gay guys at Mac couldn't fix. I managed to look like a human being today which was great.
2. I had a box of candy today. I'm not much for sweets but I guess I just had some weird craving. Anyway... I was walking to class on campus with it and everytime I ran into a friend I'd give them a handfull of candy. It is a minute and rather insignificant moment of my day, but it made me feel really good. And, I think the sugar rush gave all of my sleepy friends the boost of energy that they deseprately needed on this Monday.
3. I think I'm going to post a clip to vimeo soon. I'll work on it this weekend when I have some time. It's been way too long. PLUS, I haven't tested out any movie maker stuff on my Mac so that will be exciting! I hear Mac has awesome media software. How creative I can actually be with it is to be determined.
1. I woke up this morning with a stye. How annoying? Aside from bacteria, these can be brought on by stress. For those of you who know me, I am a germ-o-phobe so I'm going to have to say this one was a result of stress. It was really lame to have to deal with this morning but NOTHING that some great make up tips from the gay guys at Mac couldn't fix. I managed to look like a human being today which was great.
2. I had a box of candy today. I'm not much for sweets but I guess I just had some weird craving. Anyway... I was walking to class on campus with it and everytime I ran into a friend I'd give them a handfull of candy. It is a minute and rather insignificant moment of my day, but it made me feel really good. And, I think the sugar rush gave all of my sleepy friends the boost of energy that they deseprately needed on this Monday.
3. I think I'm going to post a clip to vimeo soon. I'll work on it this weekend when I have some time. It's been way too long. PLUS, I haven't tested out any movie maker stuff on my Mac so that will be exciting! I hear Mac has awesome media software. How creative I can actually be with it is to be determined.
Sunday's random thoughts:
1. I'm seriously considering leaving this blog behind and switching over to a tumblr... I haven't been posting much lately and I feel like tumblr is a lot more stream of consciousness anyway, which I like. I have a real diary (can you believe that?) for the important stuff that is relevant to me. I think I'm one of the FEW people who still keep a written diary. I've had this blog since the end of High School. That is hard for me to believe. Just reading through the posts I can see that I've changed a lot. Maybe it's time to leave it all behind... too bad I get attached. Ha.
2. It would be nice if I could just wear dresses everyday of the year. Yes, even through the winter. I'd like to constitute a no pants rule for myself but sadly, it is frigid in Blacksburg and the crazy mountain weather will not allow any outfit that requires less than 7 layers. Sad, right?
3. I need to go to a concert soon. I'm thinking to catch Bright Eyes on their tour. My friend Anton plays violin for them from time to time. I wonder if he's going to be on tour. If so, it would be great to see him! It's been 2 years!
4. I desperately need to go on a roadtrip. It's not that I don't like Tech, I really need a change of scenery. I haven't been much on going out the past few weekends... and I've gotten a lot of crap for it.
1. I'm seriously considering leaving this blog behind and switching over to a tumblr... I haven't been posting much lately and I feel like tumblr is a lot more stream of consciousness anyway, which I like. I have a real diary (can you believe that?) for the important stuff that is relevant to me. I think I'm one of the FEW people who still keep a written diary. I've had this blog since the end of High School. That is hard for me to believe. Just reading through the posts I can see that I've changed a lot. Maybe it's time to leave it all behind... too bad I get attached. Ha.
2. It would be nice if I could just wear dresses everyday of the year. Yes, even through the winter. I'd like to constitute a no pants rule for myself but sadly, it is frigid in Blacksburg and the crazy mountain weather will not allow any outfit that requires less than 7 layers. Sad, right?
3. I need to go to a concert soon. I'm thinking to catch Bright Eyes on their tour. My friend Anton plays violin for them from time to time. I wonder if he's going to be on tour. If so, it would be great to see him! It's been 2 years!
4. I desperately need to go on a roadtrip. It's not that I don't like Tech, I really need a change of scenery. I haven't been much on going out the past few weekends... and I've gotten a lot of crap for it.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
I should prob. be better about this.
When I am really stressed out, I do not eat. I don't know why I do it, usually when people are stressed out they eat, but I'm the opposite. This week has been the worst in terms of nutrition. I am writing this as a reminder of myself to not have another week like this. I'm not particularly bogged down with work. I'm doing a lot better in research as far as hours go. I talked to one of my advisors today and she said I was good to go for graduation in May both majors and all so I really don't know why I'm so effing stressed out. There is no drama with the roomates, there has never been. Everything is fine with friends and family. I don't know, I've been feeling really anxious lately... and for what? Everything is okay. I've been getting all my work done. Am I stressed because I have nothing to stress over? I hope not because that would be taking my type A personality a little too far.
Anyway, the past week, I've had no desire to eat anything. It's 3:50 and I just consumed a cup of lowfat yogurt and that's all I have eaten today and I feel fine. I was going to make a wrap but I looked at the veggies and felt sick. Yesterday... I had an apple, a couple of crackers, and 3 cheez-its and called it quits. WTF!
To remedy this issue, my roomates and I have decided to order pizza and watch The Office tonight. Perhaps, we'll write "Alfredo's" on the box... you know, just to make it super office themed.
I don't know why my appetite is gone, it sucks. I just don't feel very healthy right now.
When I am really stressed out, I do not eat. I don't know why I do it, usually when people are stressed out they eat, but I'm the opposite. This week has been the worst in terms of nutrition. I am writing this as a reminder of myself to not have another week like this. I'm not particularly bogged down with work. I'm doing a lot better in research as far as hours go. I talked to one of my advisors today and she said I was good to go for graduation in May both majors and all so I really don't know why I'm so effing stressed out. There is no drama with the roomates, there has never been. Everything is fine with friends and family. I don't know, I've been feeling really anxious lately... and for what? Everything is okay. I've been getting all my work done. Am I stressed because I have nothing to stress over? I hope not because that would be taking my type A personality a little too far.
Anyway, the past week, I've had no desire to eat anything. It's 3:50 and I just consumed a cup of lowfat yogurt and that's all I have eaten today and I feel fine. I was going to make a wrap but I looked at the veggies and felt sick. Yesterday... I had an apple, a couple of crackers, and 3 cheez-its and called it quits. WTF!
To remedy this issue, my roomates and I have decided to order pizza and watch The Office tonight. Perhaps, we'll write "Alfredo's" on the box... you know, just to make it super office themed.
I don't know why my appetite is gone, it sucks. I just don't feel very healthy right now.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
The collegiate times said it best in their paper today:
"Even though the outward signs have faded, very few of us have gone a day without thinking of that Monday. Looking back, it almost seems more like one long, drawn-out moment than a series of weeks spent attempting to come to terms with what happened. The following weeks were rather a continuous stretch of events; days and nights did not exist.
We all still think about that moment, struggle with that moment, and bear the burden of acknowledging that moment, every day of our lives."
"Even though the outward signs have faded, very few of us have gone a day without thinking of that Monday. Looking back, it almost seems more like one long, drawn-out moment than a series of weeks spent attempting to come to terms with what happened. The following weeks were rather a continuous stretch of events; days and nights did not exist.
We all still think about that moment, struggle with that moment, and bear the burden of acknowledging that moment, every day of our lives."
10.16.2007
Things to do:
1. Research all morning before my 1 class
2. Go to anatomy
3. Write a paper/stay as busy as possible to not think about today being the 6 month mark
4. Stay away from all the ritualisitc stuff because at this point... I'm too drained to deal with it
5. Hopefully at the tail end of the day, I'll be able to drop off some flowers on the drillfield and think by myself without the whole school doing the same thing. It's selfish of me right? But, honestly, I feel like too much of a spectacle is made and I'm sure it's genuine but I think the media coverage even if it's just local is intrusive. Well, at least for me it is so I choose not to get swept up in it. I think it's good that the school and the community can reach out to one another. There is no shortage of shoulders to cry on that's for sure, but sometimes, it's just good to be alone with your thoughts. I feel like that's what tomorrow (technically today) will be for me. The one thing that has remained constant throughout these past 6 months is the love that we had/will continue to have for our friends.
Things to do:
1. Research all morning before my 1 class
2. Go to anatomy
3. Write a paper/stay as busy as possible to not think about today being the 6 month mark
4. Stay away from all the ritualisitc stuff because at this point... I'm too drained to deal with it
5. Hopefully at the tail end of the day, I'll be able to drop off some flowers on the drillfield and think by myself without the whole school doing the same thing. It's selfish of me right? But, honestly, I feel like too much of a spectacle is made and I'm sure it's genuine but I think the media coverage even if it's just local is intrusive. Well, at least for me it is so I choose not to get swept up in it. I think it's good that the school and the community can reach out to one another. There is no shortage of shoulders to cry on that's for sure, but sometimes, it's just good to be alone with your thoughts. I feel like that's what tomorrow (technically today) will be for me. The one thing that has remained constant throughout these past 6 months is the love that we had/will continue to have for our friends.
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