a year ago today...

i've been looking at my March posts from last year and realizing how much has changed. i feel like i've matured a little (or at least i hope i have) - all i have to say about that is... well, it was freshman year. i think back to last year and i laugh, don't get me wrong, i had a great time, but honestly i look back on some of the things that i did and i'm so glad i've move passed that. i also realize that a lot of relationships fell apart and i'm not sure how i feel about that. i mean, for the most part - i can't really blame anyone other than myself and time, because we all grow with time. i guess it just bothers me that i was so close to a few people last year and now i barely even talk to them. if you had asked me how i thought things would have turned out i would have never suspected awkward small talk that really just ends up becoming a conversation you have where you feel like you don't even know the person anymore. it's a sad feeling, maybe not so much sad as it is disappointing, but still, you think that you and the other person would be better than this. i wouldn't say i "wasted" my time because i feel like people come in and out of your life for different reasons but, i do have to say i did invest a lot of time and i hate to say this but i don't know if i regret it or not. if all that time i spent with this person only led me to be where i am with them now... i can only say that i wish i spent my time on other things. i know that's a little harsh but that's how i'm feeling right now. it's been a year and i guess i just wanted to reflect because this is where i am right now and i'm completely comfortable with the way things are academically and socially but there are just some things that i miss that i know i will never get back and that's what disappoints me the most.