Pat is a jerk... but he makes me laugh.

Pat's away message: softball practice.
Mary's response to said message: you dork!

Mary's away message later: Watching Lance Bass in the worst movie of all time and completely enjoying it. Yep.
Pat's response: and im the dork...?

Our conversation that followed:

Me: haha touche touche
Pat: softball is the bomb
Me: haha i bet
Me: i'm just jealous b/c i suck at it
Pat: precisely
Pat: you're talking to the starting 2B
Pat: and the #2 hitter in a stacked line-up
Me: ohhhhh!
Me: wow i'm completely honored
Pat: damn straight
Me: so do you have a stack of autograph headshots for your fans after the game
Pat: only the best for my legion of fans
Me: ha ha how do you differentiate
Pat: how?
Pat: well, anyone who is alive is in my legion of fans.
Me: ha ha ha
Pat: so i just have to look at them...and they're in
Me: you and your laser beam eyes
Pat: oh yeah
Pat: shite...gotta run.
Pat: time for bed, sadly
Pat: sadly, time for bed
Me: squarrre.
Pat: would have been better
Pat: yeah
Me: yeah good idea i have to drive to school tomorrow
Me: gross.
Me: goodnight 2B.
Pat: hah
Pat: good night, lass bass lover
Pat: lass?
Pat: lance?
Pat: lance.
Me: you are such a jerk.
Pat: good luck wit hthe drive
Pat: take care

I'm waiting for my autographed headshot.