You left your thumbprint inside me now for months it seems but mine only brushes your soft surface
and somehow it leaves me listless, my tongue curls under my lips oh yes
so I can't speak to tell you of the months before I met you

and the way the truth it locked us right about the time after the lightning shocked us
when we were young and missing round that small new england byway our lives they were sheltered then and I now I remember... now I can remember oh so well.

I love that Jason Mraz song. It's my favorite part. It's called 0% interest. You should download it if you can. It's wonderfully written.

I don't particularly like Sundays because I always have so much work to do today. I talked to Jane a lot today about some issues and I love being able to talk to her about things because she can relate so well. I don't know, I've kind of been pacing around today going around in circles regarding a certain topic and I can't concentrate on anything and I wish I could just resolve this thing right now and be done with it so I can do what I need to do but it still lingers and is in the back of my mind... I know I'm being vague. I hate being vague. I hate when people are vague because you never know what to expect and everything is open to interpretation which can make things so difficult because guys and girls interprate things in different ways. I wish things were black and white... I can't say I am a fan of ambiguity but you can't expect things to be black and white ever. So I kind of wish somebody would just tell me what to do.

So anyway... I really am sad. I don't know why. Something has been bothering me. I can't put my finger on it. Sometimes I'll find myself on the verge of tears, I don't know why. I don't think I'm depressed or anything like that. I just don't like living in a state of internal conflict and I mean it's hard to explain. I am not a big fan of talking about things either. I know I should, I'm just not, I like to keep things to myself and maybe that's bad. I was talking to Matt last night on our way back from The Cage and he was like yeah you never really talk about how you're feeling and he's like I know I always do, I'm such a girl, I tell everyone everything but you don't. And I know I don't. I don't know why I don't, things would be a hundred times easier if I just went ahead and got everything off my chest. But somehow I feel that if I do tell people, that I'm burdening them with my burdens and I mean as if people don't have too much on their plate already - it's like here HELP ME when you can't even help yourself.

I don't know I wish things were different.