A friend of mine found this for me and said, well you read it...

you're miserable when he is close, so take another drink another drink will numb those senses. and make the most of flesh and bones if it helps you fall asleep. i'm watching you change it doesn't have to be this way. it gets harder everyday so you keep numb to feel safe. fuck what you know. can't you see it's shallow? every time you swallow do you get a taste of what you've become? i still remember the days when you didn't feel the need to escape and every demon you never face is the reason you're not safe. please understand that you've had every chance. you've had all the time, all the time in the world. you don't listen.

Is this what I have been reduced to?