Even I can't handle myself right now... I'm a complete mess.

- My best friend told me she has to fly a million miles away back to school because she really screwed up this year... badly. I was informed yesterday and she's leaving Saturday morning. What would have been a repeat of last summer (which was a pretty good one... not gonna lie) has just been erased. I am sad that she's leaving, but I'm glad she'll be able to fix things and make them right... this is something she needs to do, but she needs to know that I'll miss her terribly. Her leaving though isn't really the point, sure summer will not be the same... I think I'm just more disappointed and mad at myself for letting this happen. How can I say I'm a friend to her when I didn't help her throughout the year when she probably needed me the most. I feel like I've failed her.

- Also, maybe I should have just settled. I don't know anymore. Maybe there comes a point in your life where you realize you expect too much out of others so why not just embrace the fact that not everyone will be who you want them to be. I think I've reached that point in my life. It's quite hopeless.

- There can be so many great things going on around me and I still find it hard to just be genuinely happy. Maybe it's just one of those days/weeks/months... you tell me.

Tomorrow is the Conor concert so at least that will serve as a temporary fix. Wow ironic isn't it? Treating your sadness with even more sadness? Stellar idea.

I want to disappear.