Today marks one week.
VT resumed classes today. I had a dream last night where I was looking at Stack's Facebook wall and reading all the wonderful things that his friends have written about him and how they are all so sad that he is gone and he came back and told us that it was a mistake and that something went wrong and they just released the wrong name - that he wasn't really dead. I remember being SO incredibly relieved after hearing him say that. It's just sad because it felt so real and I think it's because I really wanted that to be the truth. I really want him to still be here. I'm having a hard time accepting what happened. I woke up abruptly this morning a few hours before my first class to sirens blaring on the street outside. It felt like the movie Groundhog Day. I thought it was happening all over again until I finally came to my senses. I've talked to a lot of people that live by me and they said they had the same reaction when they heard it this morning too. It's good to know I'm not completely losing it. I got to class at 12 only to find out that class wasn't meeting today. I guess I never got the e-mail. Today our academic buildings had signs on the entrances that said that the media were not to enter. Well... apparently there were news affiliates that dressed up as students and tried to sit in on some classes. Some professors had cops right outside the classroom ready to arrest them, while others would not tolerate them being in class and asked them to leave. I'm pretty sure we had one guy sit in on one of my classes. He didn't have a camera or anything just a pencil and pad of paper. I don't know how I felt about it. It's a HUGE intrusion and I think it kind of crosses the line. On the other hand, he was pretty respectful, he didn't say anything and just minded his business. I understand these people have a job to do and families to support, but capitalizing on someone's pain very obviously is where I draw the line. Don't stick a camera in somebody's face when they are crying. If you must get footage, do it at a distance, you know? My friends who went to the vigil this morning said that CNN was right behind them and the guy's cell phone went off during the moment of silence and though he didn't answer it, he wasn't quick enough to turn it off because it obviously disturbed others. They also said whispers of "get footage of that right there" were abundent during this moment of silence and everyone agrees that it's just rude. Again if you must get footage, do it respectfully or don't come at all. We will ask you to leave and at times we may not be so polite about it.
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My sister has been feeling exactly the same way about the media. She had to shield several of her friends who were crying before while the photographers tried to surround them, and even when my mom picked her up last week, they followed her around. I'm so sorry that it's gotten so far as them sitting in classes and dressing like students. I understand that it's their job, but when they cross the line like that, about forgetting respect for the students and families, it's a terrible, terrible thing. It's not even about the actual students anymore, who were real good people who had lives, and families, and friends, it's just another cover story. Terrible. I'm sorry that you had that dream. :( My thoughts and prayers are with you, and that you may find strength in your family and friends and the entire VT community. I think it's a good thing what you are doing for yourself, seeking help and also taking each day as it comes. Stay strong Mary. ♥
I just don't understand how much more they need. All has been said and done. Obviously the nation knows we are in the process of grieving... why milk it? There's nothing more that needs to be said. Any other day, we would invite people who wish to sit in on a professors class to come in and do so. We love showing our school and programs off to people who are genuinely interested. However, when a man with greying hair with a hokie shirt comes and sits in your class and nobody has ever seen him before... it's quite obvious what he is there to do.
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