I'm thinking of quitting drinking again I know I've said that a couple times
And I'm always changing my mind...Well I guess I am
But there's this burn in my stomach and there's this pain in my side
And when I kneel at the toilet and the morning's clean light
Pours in through the window - sometimes I pray I don't die
I'm a goddamn hypocrite
But the night rolls around and it all starts making sense
There is no right way or wrong... well you just have to live
And so I do what I do and at least I exist
What could mean more than this?
What would mean more?
Mean more?
Monday, May 30, 2005
Well aside from Jack's being cancelled... the night was still pretty good.
Me: dude that looks like a pretty nice restaurant! Look! you get a nice view of the harbor and it's really effing nice outside
Kathryn: Mary, that's definately a Hooters!
Me: Whatever, does that look like a Hooters to you?
Kathryn: Read the sign
Me: No effing way. That's the nicest Hooters EVER!
Kathryn: I hear they have really good wings
Me: Yeah me too, we should go one day.
Me: dude that looks like a pretty nice restaurant! Look! you get a nice view of the harbor and it's really effing nice outside
Kathryn: Mary, that's definately a Hooters!
Me: Whatever, does that look like a Hooters to you?
Kathryn: Read the sign
Me: No effing way. That's the nicest Hooters EVER!
Kathryn: I hear they have really good wings
Me: Yeah me too, we should go one day.
Andrew McMahon update.
Tales from the Infirmary Pt. II (Someone get this man to the hospital)
This is a difficult post to make, and I'd like to preface it by urging everyone not to worry, because I believe strongly that this will all be fine. Alright...here we go. As most of you know I have been struggling with a bit of laryingitis. I had to cancel last night's show to rest my voice and see my doctor to make sure I had not done any damage to my throat. When I arrived in his office he told me I looked sick (I know...what a dick. Just kidding Dr. K). He asked to run some blood tests, which he did. This morning I received a phone call regarding concerns about the outcome of those tests. It's been a blur since then and all I know is there has been a lot of prodding, poking and not a ton of answers so far. I have been admitted to a hospital in New York for observation over the rest of the weekend, and as you may have guessed have been forced to cancel a handful of upcoming shows. For this I'm more sorry than you know. On a lighter note, I was given a hysterical blue gown (you know the type) which I wore for a moment but have since abandon in protest. Yes, the food sucks, but my lovely sister has gone out to stock me up with my favorite Amy's Organic meals and the staff here has been awesome so far. I know many of you will be concerned, and I hesitated to even divulge this info, but feel that it is best that I be forthright to avoid any speculation pertaining to my condition. I'm currently feeling fine and this hospitalization has occured mainly to avoid contracting any infections while my immune system is weak. I promise I will keep you all informed as more info comes and I'm so sorry to those of you who I would be seeing otherwise at this weeks shows. A very wise person taught me to meet these situations with positivity and I would expect nothing less from everyone who reads this. Your understanding means the world to me, and I promise I will get through this and see you all soon.
From Andrew McMahon.
I never thought I would say these words, but I just don't know what else I can do. I have decided to cancel tonight's show. I have sung five shows with an unrelenting case of laryngitis and I finally spoke with my doctor this morning. He fears if I continue to sing without resting that I can do permanant damage to my voice. I have been told to play this evening's show at the downtown, but I feel too guilty to cancel on such short notice. I can't say what to expect, but I will do everything I can to make the show worth attending. I know there's nothing worse than looking forward to a concert and having it get cancelled. I cannot even describe to you all how hard this decision has been for me. I promise everyone if the implications of my playing in these conditions wern't far reaching and potentially harmful to my voice then I would be there in a heartbeat. All I can ask for is your understanding. I will make this show up to you all as soon as humanly possible. It has been a source of pride that I have never cancelled a show for voice troubles. Today is one of the hardest days of my entire touring career.
What can I say other than.... musicians are humans too and though they may seem immortal or larger than life, they too get sick. Good thing the Inner Harbor wasn't that sketchy. We ended up doing some shopping and we dined on the waterfront so it actually worked out quite well. Hopefully the show is rescheduled on a day that I can go.
I never thought I would say these words, but I just don't know what else I can do. I have decided to cancel tonight's show. I have sung five shows with an unrelenting case of laryngitis and I finally spoke with my doctor this morning. He fears if I continue to sing without resting that I can do permanant damage to my voice. I have been told to play this evening's show at the downtown, but I feel too guilty to cancel on such short notice. I can't say what to expect, but I will do everything I can to make the show worth attending. I know there's nothing worse than looking forward to a concert and having it get cancelled. I cannot even describe to you all how hard this decision has been for me. I promise everyone if the implications of my playing in these conditions wern't far reaching and potentially harmful to my voice then I would be there in a heartbeat. All I can ask for is your understanding. I will make this show up to you all as soon as humanly possible. It has been a source of pride that I have never cancelled a show for voice troubles. Today is one of the hardest days of my entire touring career.
What can I say other than.... musicians are humans too and though they may seem immortal or larger than life, they too get sick. Good thing the Inner Harbor wasn't that sketchy. We ended up doing some shopping and we dined on the waterfront so it actually worked out quite well. Hopefully the show is rescheduled on a day that I can go.
Yeah so long story short... this was my night...
Q: Hey what's cooler than driving all the way to Baltimore to find out that your concert was cancelled?
A: Getting lost in the ghetto on your way home! My life is obviously not chracterized by a series of good events.
sportschic326: awwwww it's ok i still love you!
TheRedFlame2: haha
Doups of CAN: you have my sympathy
Doups of CAN: ..and my luck
cubsbearsphish: hello, hello...you're probably asleep, but it doesn't sound you had the best of nights. So sorry...
Thanks for the vote of confidence everyone! Except for Jason. :P
Q: Hey what's cooler than driving all the way to Baltimore to find out that your concert was cancelled?
A: Getting lost in the ghetto on your way home! My life is obviously not chracterized by a series of good events.
sportschic326: awwwww it's ok i still love you!
TheRedFlame2: haha
Doups of CAN: you have my sympathy
Doups of CAN: ..and my luck
cubsbearsphish: hello, hello...you're probably asleep, but it doesn't sound you had the best of nights. So sorry...
Thanks for the vote of confidence everyone! Except for Jason. :P
Saturday, May 28, 2005
Hanging out at the Empire State building... you know... no big. Ha ha... although, I do admit, it was quite anti-climatic. I really built up this building in my head and then I saw it. And granted it was nice, but looking at it from the ground up didn't do it for me. I couldn't see the top and it was a little disappointing.
A friend of mine has a sister that is still in High School and apparently ever since I graduated, they have banned Senior Prank because we really pissed them off. Anyway, one Senior lashed out by stealing the Yoda from the library to which the librarians responded by putting a plea in the paper asking for Yoda to be returned. This particular senior decided to put ransom notes up all over the school. Now if the school does not "comply" with his one demand... he says he's going to film a "beheading" of yoda and submit it to the morning announcements. I personally think he's taking it a little too far with the beheadings... in the context of what's been going on overseas. However, the kidnapping of Yoda and the plea from the librarians is really funny. I think that this could be a pseudo Senior Prank in itself.
Thursday, May 26, 2005
Even I can't handle myself right now... I'm a complete mess.
- My best friend told me she has to fly a million miles away back to school because she really screwed up this year... badly. I was informed yesterday and she's leaving Saturday morning. What would have been a repeat of last summer (which was a pretty good one... not gonna lie) has just been erased. I am sad that she's leaving, but I'm glad she'll be able to fix things and make them right... this is something she needs to do, but she needs to know that I'll miss her terribly. Her leaving though isn't really the point, sure summer will not be the same... I think I'm just more disappointed and mad at myself for letting this happen. How can I say I'm a friend to her when I didn't help her throughout the year when she probably needed me the most. I feel like I've failed her.
- Also, maybe I should have just settled. I don't know anymore. Maybe there comes a point in your life where you realize you expect too much out of others so why not just embrace the fact that not everyone will be who you want them to be. I think I've reached that point in my life. It's quite hopeless.
- There can be so many great things going on around me and I still find it hard to just be genuinely happy. Maybe it's just one of those days/weeks/months... you tell me.
Tomorrow is the Conor concert so at least that will serve as a temporary fix. Wow ironic isn't it? Treating your sadness with even more sadness? Stellar idea.
I want to disappear.
- My best friend told me she has to fly a million miles away back to school because she really screwed up this year... badly. I was informed yesterday and she's leaving Saturday morning. What would have been a repeat of last summer (which was a pretty good one... not gonna lie) has just been erased. I am sad that she's leaving, but I'm glad she'll be able to fix things and make them right... this is something she needs to do, but she needs to know that I'll miss her terribly. Her leaving though isn't really the point, sure summer will not be the same... I think I'm just more disappointed and mad at myself for letting this happen. How can I say I'm a friend to her when I didn't help her throughout the year when she probably needed me the most. I feel like I've failed her.
- Also, maybe I should have just settled. I don't know anymore. Maybe there comes a point in your life where you realize you expect too much out of others so why not just embrace the fact that not everyone will be who you want them to be. I think I've reached that point in my life. It's quite hopeless.
- There can be so many great things going on around me and I still find it hard to just be genuinely happy. Maybe it's just one of those days/weeks/months... you tell me.
Tomorrow is the Conor concert so at least that will serve as a temporary fix. Wow ironic isn't it? Treating your sadness with even more sadness? Stellar idea.
I want to disappear.
The Bravery sound like The Killers...
In other news, Matt has got to be the worstest friend EVER. This is why:
Everybody who knows Drew and I know that we worship the ground that Conor walks on and the oxygen that he breathes and everything about him. Everybody knows we knew about the Conor concert in DC early last semseter and bought our tickets last semester... why? Because we're McFrickin die hard Conor fans... so if you were Matt and you were presented with free backstage passes to Conor's concert at the 9:30 club (the one your best friends Mary and Drew are going to) would you a) take the backstage passes and give them to your bestest friends ever or... would you b) pass up the tickets.
Matt chose option B.
This just breaks my heart... this is even worse than the time that Bo Bice didn't win American Idol. Gosh, Matt how much heartbreak do you expect me to suffer through within a period of 48 hours?
Ha ha.. Matt even though you didn't take the backstage passes... I still love you. but only a little. like not very much at all, but some. I guess we're just going to have to settle for our shitty front row seats.
In other news, Matt has got to be the worstest friend EVER. This is why:
Everybody who knows Drew and I know that we worship the ground that Conor walks on and the oxygen that he breathes and everything about him. Everybody knows we knew about the Conor concert in DC early last semseter and bought our tickets last semester... why? Because we're McFrickin die hard Conor fans... so if you were Matt and you were presented with free backstage passes to Conor's concert at the 9:30 club (the one your best friends Mary and Drew are going to) would you a) take the backstage passes and give them to your bestest friends ever or... would you b) pass up the tickets.
Matt chose option B.
This just breaks my heart... this is even worse than the time that Bo Bice didn't win American Idol. Gosh, Matt how much heartbreak do you expect me to suffer through within a period of 48 hours?
Ha ha.. Matt even though you didn't take the backstage passes... I still love you. but only a little. like not very much at all, but some. I guess we're just going to have to settle for our shitty front row seats.
Free Ice Cream Sundaes from D2 on the last exam night... Instead of eating my ice cream like a normal person would, I poked at it and drew pictures in it. Jerry told me to pretend like I was eating it in the picture, but I ended up cracking up and looking like a big loser instead... what's new? Laura aka the Nicole to my Paris is in this picture and I just wanted her to know I miss her a lot. :P
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
I have stalkers!!! How effing cool is that?!
SLAinsworth7: ok, so i'm being a total stalker and reading your blog...but you have to hook me up with some of the concerts you're going to...b/c i'm a loser and don't hear or things w/o you, drew and matty, haha....hope your summer is a blast thus far!! (and it sounds like it is from my stalkerish-readings)
*I love you stalker! PS: the hook up shall be provided.
rachel6586: hey i saw ur away message so i decided to read ur blog haha...since when am i 'rach face'? lol
Answer: since it rhymed in my head for 2 seconds! :P ha ha jk... I don't know, it just came to me.
SLAinsworth7: ok, so i'm being a total stalker and reading your blog...but you have to hook me up with some of the concerts you're going to...b/c i'm a loser and don't hear or things w/o you, drew and matty, haha....hope your summer is a blast thus far!! (and it sounds like it is from my stalkerish-readings)
*I love you stalker! PS: the hook up shall be provided.
rachel6586: hey i saw ur away message so i decided to read ur blog haha...since when am i 'rach face'? lol
Answer: since it rhymed in my head for 2 seconds! :P ha ha jk... I don't know, it just came to me.
Via Justinizzle...
"GW boys have money, UVA boys are smart, but it takes a Tech boy to win a girl's heart. JMU boys can't dance, Radford boys can't flow, and when you want the best-looking guy, Tech is where you go. So any girl who reads this truly has to know, if you get a Tech boy, you should never let him go..."
"GW boys have money, UVA boys are smart, but it takes a Tech boy to win a girl's heart. JMU boys can't dance, Radford boys can't flow, and when you want the best-looking guy, Tech is where you go. So any girl who reads this truly has to know, if you get a Tech boy, you should never let him go..."
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
Things I noticed while in New York
(feel free to add on)
1. If you think you are remotely cool, you are wrong. So wrong my friend because everyone in New York is cooler than you.
2. Everybody has a flippin dog... (in the SoHo/NoHo/Village area at least) and they're damn cute too
3. Pidgeons are everywhere and they're abnormally shaped and kind of gross
4. There are secret doorways in the shops in Chinatown! A man walked into one of the stores I was in and was like "I want to go inside the wall!" - I guess you had to be there, but trust me, it was funny.
5. Cowboy boots are in
6. So are converse shoes in EVERY color, but mostly black
7. Puma shoes... you know those really flat european looking ones are so hot right now.
8. Asic shoes are in... namely Tigers.
9. Guys hold hands... we don't see it that much where we live but in New York they're proud of it. More power to ya.
10. Polo/Lacoste shirts are everywhere... but we like to thank the people that don't pop them. :P
11. Girls like big beaded jewlery... in a non-gaudy way
12. Long hippie skirts are everywhere... seen in non-hippie colors
13. Everyone has really really cool hair. Guys and girls, young and old... gosh I'm so unhip. It's all very unique.
14. One word: bohemian lifestyle... and my gosh do I love it.
15. Everyone is kind of costumy but it doesn't really look like they try to be... they just are. Personal style looks effortless.
16. Colors that you wouldn't think go together really do in some odd yet creative way
17. There are lot of artists... in the form of painters, photographers, graphic designers, poets, etc... it's all very very exciting.
18. Everyone walks really fast... and I mean really. I felt like they all had somewhere to go and something to do.
19. There's no preventing yourself from looking like a total tourist no matter how discrete you are with your digital camera.
20. Oh yeah... did I already mention that everyone is cooler than you?
Cue Ben Folds song: Smile when you've got nothing to prove, no matter what you might do, there's always someone out there cooler than you... I know it's hard to believe but there are people you meet, They're into something that is to big to be expressed through their clothes...
amen Ben... a effing men.
(feel free to add on)
1. If you think you are remotely cool, you are wrong. So wrong my friend because everyone in New York is cooler than you.
2. Everybody has a flippin dog... (in the SoHo/NoHo/Village area at least) and they're damn cute too
3. Pidgeons are everywhere and they're abnormally shaped and kind of gross
4. There are secret doorways in the shops in Chinatown! A man walked into one of the stores I was in and was like "I want to go inside the wall!" - I guess you had to be there, but trust me, it was funny.
5. Cowboy boots are in
6. So are converse shoes in EVERY color, but mostly black
7. Puma shoes... you know those really flat european looking ones are so hot right now.
8. Asic shoes are in... namely Tigers.
9. Guys hold hands... we don't see it that much where we live but in New York they're proud of it. More power to ya.
10. Polo/Lacoste shirts are everywhere... but we like to thank the people that don't pop them. :P
11. Girls like big beaded jewlery... in a non-gaudy way
12. Long hippie skirts are everywhere... seen in non-hippie colors
13. Everyone has really really cool hair. Guys and girls, young and old... gosh I'm so unhip. It's all very unique.
14. One word: bohemian lifestyle... and my gosh do I love it.
15. Everyone is kind of costumy but it doesn't really look like they try to be... they just are. Personal style looks effortless.
16. Colors that you wouldn't think go together really do in some odd yet creative way
17. There are lot of artists... in the form of painters, photographers, graphic designers, poets, etc... it's all very very exciting.
18. Everyone walks really fast... and I mean really. I felt like they all had somewhere to go and something to do.
19. There's no preventing yourself from looking like a total tourist no matter how discrete you are with your digital camera.
20. Oh yeah... did I already mention that everyone is cooler than you?
Cue Ben Folds song: Smile when you've got nothing to prove, no matter what you might do, there's always someone out there cooler than you... I know it's hard to believe but there are people you meet, They're into something that is to big to be expressed through their clothes...
amen Ben... a effing men.
This would have been a pretty cool picture but people decided to walk in it... but if you look really carefully there's a jazz band and little kids dancing in front of them. The jazz band was so cute, the people in the band were cute little old men. This was that open air market thing I was talking about earlier. I loved it.
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