Has it really been two months?

It's weird because it feels like it was just yesterday, but at the same time, the days seem to pass by so slowly. It's like you're moving in slow motion, just trying to process everything that happened. Your mind plays through the sequence of events, pauses, rewinds, and goes through it again. It's like the tape is broken and you're stuck. You move past it a bit but ultimately go back. I think it's going to be this way for awhile. I'm okay with that.

Pictures these days aren't cutting it anymore. That's all you really have to hold onto, but as grateful as you are for all the wonderful memories that come flooding back - at the end of the day, you're searching for something tangible. You want smiles, hugs, and more good memories. You feel selfish for wanting more when they have already given you so much.

I miss them and days like today make it so hard. I saw on the news that Norris had reopened. For the most part, I think I've come to terms with it. There was some footage of the renovated rooms and you can still see the indentations and marks in the cinder block where the bullets hit. It's a lot to take in all at once - seeing the rooms for the first time with new floors, paint, and ceilings, as if nothing has happened. I don't know how I feel about seeing the new rooms just yet. It will take awhile to hit me which has seemed to be a pretty common theme throughout my whole experience with this situation.