some clarity

I was giving someone relationship advice today. She brought up the fact that her relationship hand changed dramatically with her significant other and was hanging by a thread and she wasn't sure whether she should hang on or let go. I don't want to bore you with the details, but I thought what she described was a pretty toxic relationship. This was not just a little bump in the road... so I quoted some text from Derrick Brown's poem "Unsent" and this is what I said to her...

When you told me about losing your virginity
do you know I wanted to be there
to shake you and say
wait damnit wait for me

I think of how i'd feel without you
and I am ripped into freeway trash.
I fell for you twice.
You're a big fat fuckin' wow....

I wanna fix what the other upstanding Christian boys wrecked
I wanna punch out all the smart, clever
and coy billboards you dated before
and stalk all the boys with secret crushes
and place their hearts on Pungee stakes
and say Suck it she's mine.

One survivor

Everytime I'm feeling down about the end of a relationship or one I'm kind of on the fence about, I read this poem and I think to myself, would the guy I'm currently with say anyone of those things about me? If not, then it's time to move on. Because the person you're with should regard you in the way that this poet was writing. I hope you read this and feel the same way. Good luck with your decision. Whatever you decide will be in your best interest but I think all of us are hoping that you don't settle.

Wow, maybe I should take my own advice once in awhile. It's true, I do read a lot of Derrick Brown when I'm feeling down... I especially love this poem because someone who loves you should speak of you this way. You shouldn't have to settle for anything less. Later on tonight, I went and got Gelato with some friends of mine and we got into girl mode and started talking about the ideal guy. We're all currently single but in the past we've been through a lot of the same things in regards to relationships not working out, just not meeting the right people, and getting sick of the whole dating game. Anyway, in our pseudo-misery we talked about what the ideal guy would be like... and I think I said something along the lines of, "I want my guy to be okay with me getting lunch with an ex." Then, I thought about it and wondered if a) I'd ever find anyone that would be okay with something like that and b) if a relationship could actually work up to a point of that much trust. I think this would be the ultimate test. I know exes are always touchy subjects, but you know obviously these people meant a lot to you at one point in your life, completely writing them out of your life would be a contradiction in my opinion.

Thoughts?