Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Then, it's me.

Okay, I'm trying to think about how I can make this story as short as humanly possible under the circumstances that is... since there is so much background information. I guess we can start off with I am the most non-commital indecisive person when it comes to guys. I've known this my whole life but recently my friends have been getting on my case about it. Okay so the basic trend of my relationships is: I will find somebody that I like, I will date them I guess you could say for awhile and when it finally comes time to commit, I will chicken out. I can't bring myself to do it and I'm not sure why and I don't think it's right ot lead people on and I don't even realize I'm doing it until somebody calls me out on it and tells me I'm not being fair. I realize the issue isn't with the guy, but it's more my fault. But I would think that I should be completely excited about somebody if I were to persue a relationship with them right? So if I'm backing off when it comes time to commit I can't help but wondering if it's just an internal response that tells me the situation isn't right to begin with and that it won't work out. I'm not sure what it is, but this has generally been the trend for the past 2 years and I'm mad at myself for acting this way because I really shouldn't be... I don't know what it is. So I guess that's what's been on my mind recently. I'm not sure what to do about it or if there's anything I can do, I just think I need to meet the right person, but my friends seem to disagree saying that the right person has come along at least 5 times in the past 2 years and every time I've always chickened out...

Sorry if this post was exceedingly teenage angsty sounding... I just had to get it out there. Feedback is appreciated. :D

No comments: