The day we finally escape is all I'm thinking about right now
I just want to sit here and remember that little beach town
How the screendoor reflected the water
And your eyes in the picture we took
It left me with scars that are there for good
It burned holes in me that were permanent

I miss my the girls and going to and from Reston Town Center 

I miss my house and running around in it...  

SCORAGE!!!!!!!

I LOVE MY MOM! She called me today to inform me that she got me the best internship imaginable (well best internship imaginable for me anyway)... My parents are somehow related to a really well known Doctor in California who currently holds 5 different medical degrees some of which include degrees in postmortem examinations (he identified bodies or what was left of the bodies of the victims of 9/11 in New York), dermotology, plastic surgery and 2 other ones but I forgot what they were. I am beyond beyond beyond amazed and excited. I will start working with this guy in the Summer of 2005 and as if you couldn't tell I just ahhhh... I don't know, I'm still in awe. This is an opportunity I just cannot pass up and I owe it all to my mom. This is absolutely amazing. I'm going to stop my rambling because I could fill this whole page up with positive adjectives and still not be able to express how I feel, so I'll spare you from reading a copy of the thesaurus and just let it be known that I am one happy camper.

;)

Mood: excited (obviously)
Song: 0% interest - Jason Mraz

Gah... so let down and disappointed all at the same time. Add sad to that list too. :( Just when you thought he could do no wrong and that he's such a good friend/person/everything. I am SO disappointed in you. Really, I don't even know what to think - this is really shocking and just really unlike you. And I really had a lot more faith in you. I'm not mad at you, because what you do is ultimately your decision not mine, but I"m just going to say that I expected more from you after everything that happened and what you told me so I'll leave it at that.

:(
I don't understand you a lot of times, but this really takes the cake. I thought you were better than that, but because I'm you're friend, I'll be here for you regardless and you know that.

Sometimes you just get the urge to grab your butt ESPECIALLY if you are Emo Matt 

I was looking at Reed's profile today and it said something about hey "ask me what I really think of you and I'll tell you because at this point I don't mind telling you" so I went for it and took him up on his offer and left a message for him because he was away and I was like go for it, tell me what you think of me and this is what he said...

I2eedeI2: a) there is a general consensus among the guys that you were friends with that you were undoubtedly the coolest friend we hung out with, but not only that, but also you're accepted as, by far, the hottest asian in our entire school, and your appreciation of good music is overwhelmingly amazing

Talk about the ego boost of the day. Reed, thanks for re-assuring me that the male population does not hate me.

PS: I miss my guy friends... a lot. Can't wait to see you all again! :)

Every couple needs their own rain scene...

Just like in the movies. One of my teachers from High School told me about how she and her friends had always joked about how before they got married they had to have a rain scene with their boyfriends/fiances.... you know the kind of rain scene where the couple kisses in the rain after a fight... okay, maybe not a fight but maybe after a great night or something, where nothing could go wrong and then it rains but because they kiss or whatever it symbolizes that they can make it through any kind of weather etc. etc. cliche cliche cliche... I WANT A DAMN RAIN SCENE. But I guess I would have to have a boyfriend first yeah? That might help.

Anyway, so aside from the fact that I want a rain scene I should continue my teacher's story about how her boyfriend popped the question. Since they hadn't had their rain scene yet... he got his friends to set up hoses by the deck and somehow attach shower heads to them and he had them coming from all angles and he asked her to come outside and said "hold this umbrella" and that was the cue for his friends inside the house to turn the shower heads on and dump rose petals out the window and then he popped the question... that's so... dare I say it, romantic. I think I would cry. Oh she said yes, by the way.

Sigh... one day Mary, one day.

Cliche, Cliche... everything is so fucking cliche. I guess it just doesn't get any better.

Blogged out.

Today in English class my professor told me the "secret to life..."

What is the Secret to life you ask? - The answer is simply transformation. I know this hold truths... duh of course we have to transform, I'm surprised I didn't think of it earlier. It's one of those things so simple that you tend to overlook. Whenever somebody used to ask me what the secret to life was I'd always respond by saying "well, I suppose it's to just live your life - really live it, and embrace all the trials and tribulations and to look forward to the laughter. I would tell them something cliche like how life is a roller coaster ride with its ups and downs and in the end when you look back you'll love it and realize the ups and downs are what made the ride so amazing to begin with and then I'd conclude this thought with, I guess you just have to embrace and take everything that comes your way and love it." I'd like to think that this is still my philosphy, but transformation... oh that transformation.

I'd like to think i've "transformed" and "grown into my own skin" or "found myself" during the past couple years, but then again I wonder if I really have. Nothing much has changed... Sure I've changed physically so technically that's "transformation" and mentally I may have matured but perhaps it wasn't a conscious willing transformation but just the next step to growing up.... oh fuck it, it's transformation, my professor was right... what am I talking about?

PS: I got the Zack Hexum CD today... I love it/him.
PPS: I'm using the term "love" really loosely - I hate "love" (the word love - that is) because I think it's way to whored out. People love their cat, people love their toe nail polish, people love hot guys, people love wet wipes.... if someone told me they loved me, I don't think I'd be able to take them seriously. If you can say you love your toe nail polish or your guitar... and then tell me you love me too... I don't think that would do it for me. - Why am I so difficult? No wonder why I'm destined to be alone for a long time. I think we need a new word for "love" or we should just stop whoring it like we do so it can go back to meaning what it used to... Think about it, if I told you I loved my colored post-it notes and then I told you I loved you, how would you respond to that? Love doesn't mean anything anymore... it's tragic.

Here I go... I'll dive right in

and while these memories start to fade and photographs are thrown away, i'll save a little piece on my side. breath out of you insecurities and hang them out with mine. i hope you save a piece on your side.

Classes have started... there's already a lot of work to do, but it's rather managable so I think I'll be okay until further breakdowns are blogged. As if anyone reads about the breakdowns anyway. I like most of my classes, my English teacher sort of rubbed me the wrong way but I refuse to drop his class - no way. I will NOT drop his class because I am TERRIFIED of him. He's not going to win. I'm going to stick it out... This by the way is one of those "foreshadow" blogs in which you inevitably know that I will bitch and moan about this later...

And although my hands are shaky, I lie perfectly still...

Anyone want to tell me how you tell someone you really like them? Because I'm all out of ideas. On second thought, I'm not even going to do it. Why ruin a perfectly good thing right? I hate that I'm such a wimp... at this rate, I'm destined to be lonely forever.

Check Yes or No...

Wouldn't it be nice to do that? Tell someone just to check yes or no the way you would in 5th grade... 3rd grade for some people... geeze some of us move slower than others - cut some slack yo. We really didn't know how good we had it back in the day until we look back now... or like I'm doing so tonight debating what I should or should not do. I wish it were as easy as to write a little note and stick it in someone's desk, make them check yes or no knowing full well that there are no strings attached and if that person happened to check no then you'd just erase the check mark and give it to somebody else... Nope, can't do that anymore. Man I miss elementary school sometimes. Now, if you want to do that - there's all these stupid feelings involved and emotions and... when did it all get so complicated?

Feelings, Nothing more than Feelings - Trying to forget my feelings of loveeeeeee...

That's right... I'm taking it back to the old school.

PS: I really enjoyed blogging today. I like how I did it. I'm not gonna lie. Also, if you have any suggestions as to what I should do... leave one. Or just leave a comment anyway.

I'm starting to miss everyone... I'm not home sick, because I actually love it here, it's just... I don't know. I miss seeing familiar faces and the connection that I had with all my friends when I was there. I talked to a few of my friends and basically everyone feels the same way. I mean don't get me wrong college is awesome, my friends here are great too, but it's just different. I don't feel I've known anyone that well yet and I haven't exactly been putting myself out there. I don't know why either. I could have gone to parties all of last week, but I chose to go to one at the end of the week and I didn't even stay there that long. I didn't meet anyone at that party - I guess it was because I really wasn't trying to. I'm rather reserved when I meet people for the first time - maybe I have trust issues? I'm not one to put myself out there. Sure I'll introduce myself to people who come up to me but I'm not one to go around to others... It's weird, I know. It's ironic because I'm actually an outgoing person, I just act this way when I'm around people I don't know.... maybe my psychology class or sociology class will explain why. I also have cuts on my feet from my flip flops because a) they're not worn in yet and b) I have to walk 5-10 miles a day which = hurt feet. Sorry, back to what I orginally wrote this post about (which you probably don't care about either - I have a right to rant, I shall)... I guess I'm reserved because my friends and I are just so close, we know each other really well... they're like my second family and I guess it's hard for me with my friends here because I don't think we can ever be that close to one other...

Actually I'm lying... I guess I'm more reserved here beacause I KNOW there's a big chance that the friends I have here and the people I'll meet this year are going to be amazing people. I know that I can have that feeling I get with my friends from home with them here. I know that they can feel like my second family - because in some ways... they already do. I just feel so damn guilty sometimes because it almost feels like I'm replacing my friends from home and I know it sounds stupid but I just don't know anymore. I know I shouldn't limit myself because I feel guilty... I'm afraid. I afraid of losing what I had back home to what I have here - which don't get me wrong... is good. I just don't want to let go... my goodbyes wern't forever. What to do?

Also... everyone here is really big on meeting guys... who can blame them right? The guy-girl ratio is 60-40... what's not to love about that. But I don't know, partying is great, I just ... I guess i'm not ready? I was never a big dater... I hated it and when I dated someone it was hard to let go when we decided we had to. You guys remember that. I dunno I think I'm too focused on finding "Mr.Right" when right now is a time where I should just be testing the waters to see who's out there.... maybe I'm holding out, I'm not quite sure... I guess I don't want to deal with the reality that being hurt is something that will happen. Damn.... I know I gave this speech to Erkan the other day... if only I could take my own advice... I told him that our age... we're suppose to experiment, break hearts and get ours broken, date people we'd never thought we'd date, love people we never thought we'd love because that's just the way it is and when this process is over... the person we end up would just seem so right. He told me I was right and he told me this really helped him with whatever he was going through... why can't I just take my own advice? It would just be easier that way....

I got a phone call from Colin last night and he told me he was going to LA at the end of October for Film School. I think that's so amazing - I'm so happy for him. He orginally was going to New York film academy but I told him he should just go to California and he actually took my advice so now he's going. That's aweosme! I am friends with an up and coming director. That's awesome! :) Anyway it was so good to hear from him because I didn't get to say good-bye. It's okay though because he's coming down to Tech a few days before he leaves and then he's going to go to the Wake Forest game with Drew and I so it should be good times. I decided I'd go visit Colin and stay with him in LA for Spring Break 2005. I'm so excited it's ridiculous. Awesome. Melanie goes to school in California too so it'll be good to see her again too.

This is so surreal... within a few years, we'll all be working and possibly married? WTF.

So I'm back in school and it's great! Feels good to be back... mostly because there is no work that has to be done right now. I've been hanging out with Matt, Drew 1, Drew 2, and a few other people a lot. It's good though... it feels right. That's something that hasn't happened in awhile. Nothing ever felt right, nothing ever felt good, but this does. Well... kinda.

a) I'm not a big fan of cliche guys... no you're COLLEGE t-shirt will not get you chicks... imagine if some kid walked around with a shirt that said HIGH SCHOOL on it.... yeah represent!!!! no.


Now I shall vent.... get ready
b) Girls that pee all over toilet seats really annoy me... It's not like you have to point and shoot like guys do. It's not that hard, toilets are pratically fool proof, you just go and that's that. And okay for some odd reason, if you do happen to pee on the seat, for goodness sake, clean it up you asshole. No one wants to clean up your bodily fluids - not even your mom, so just do us all a favor and learn how to COLOR IN THE LINES.

I almost forgot how much I love it here. The campus is gorgeous, the walking 5-10 miles a day really sucks a fuck [DONNIE DARKO!] but it's worth it. I love being here, I love most of the people... (minus those college t-shirt wearing guys, although some of them are really nice) and I just like how everything feels "right" because it hasn't in awhile.

Anyway, tomorrow is one of the largest party nights on campus and Mike and his roomate are coming from Radford so we'll see how that goes.

Michael Phelps... you are HOT. Please father my children.  

Hot Damn. For the record... his body is amazing. [Sorry, I am being shallow] Two words: Pelvic creases...  

I was over at Keirn's earlier this afternoon helping her pack for college and we came across a bunch of pictures that she had in her desk drawer so we went through them and picked out a bunch to take to college with us. Anyway... we found our UVA pictures. :) She hid them right after we got back from our trip and this trip happened around late January... so these past few months we've been trying to find these pictures because she hid them so well she couldn't find them either... so I guess that means her parental units never did... so anyway tonight was a big night because they were recovered! YESSS! UVA = the ultimate trip (for reasons not as sketchy as you may be thinking). Anyhow... I found a picture that I had taken with this guy that was with us at the Crew party that night and it was one of those pictures where you both put your heads together and smile and one person holds the camera hoping that the picture will include more than a close up of your nostrils... well, the person holding the camera in this situation was me... i'm 5'4 and he was over 6 feet tall so the picture was basically his neck down and then my face. Next time... the taller person will hold the camera... actually next time, how about we don't take drunken pictures. Our pictures were just so goofy - my eyes were all funky because they were drunk and watery. YES. But looking back, you just have to laugh at yourself. Keirn's the best, I'm going to miss being around her - she's so out there sometimes, but I guess that's what made this trip so fun and looking back on all the pictures and just laughing was exactly what I needed tonight... Speedy & Thoma fo' ever.

I act like everything is okay. Au contraire... it's not. Wednesday cannot come soon enough.

Song of the moment: "Drunk Kid Catholic" ~ Bright Eyes

The drunk kids, the catholics
They're all about the same
They're waiting for something
Hoping to be saved...

Another trip to DC, but this time for the A.C. Newman Concert.

Last night... despite warnings from my mother about this "tropical storm" in Florida whose winds were suppose to travel North into the District and be "quite harmful" I decided to live on the edge of danger because well... duh, that's how ruff ryders rolllllll... and go anyway.

And guess what? No winds. Maybe a little rain but eh, who cares? So anyway, Christy and I drove into DC sans directions and DIDN'T get lost (YESSS!) and met up with two of her friends from UVA (Julie and Nathan) in Georgetown for dinner before the concert. Christy gracefully tried to parallel park upon arrival because the spot was irresistable, but even with my help... our teamwork failed and we wern't able to park... so Nathan ended up doing it. So anyway we walked around Georgetown for awhile which is always nice because Georgetown's Nightlife is always fun. Parking in Georgetown... or in DC is not so fun. Anyway so we ate and then drove to the Black Cat and the last time Christy and I were there was for Pedro the Lion and John Vanderslice and it took us an hour to find parking and 15 minutes to actually park. But no, not this time. It took us about 15 minutes to do both and Christy and I successfully parallel parked... that's team work biotch. And needless to say the concert was awesome! A.C. Newman is a funny guy.... the guy on stage without any pants on was pretty funny too. And I secretly lust for the guy who played the recorder in the band or the one who played the tambourine. HOTTNESS. That's what SHE said.... ha ha. So all in all, good times. I won't bore you with the details.

The concert ended around 1:45 ish and DC is not so safe at 1:45 in the morning and we parked a couple blocks away from the Black Cat and I must say.... the walk to the car was the sketchiest walk EVER. It was funny because Christy and I kept walking faster and faster to the point where we were almost running to the car because the people just weirded us out so much. Not to sound mean or anything... but some of the guys will make you wonder.

We got home safely though and we didn't get lost coming out of DC... yess Constitution Avenue... you are our savior. Anyway since I live in a secluded neighborhood that's unmapquestable... I picked up my car from Jason's house and I didn't get home until 2:30 yesssss! But all is good... and it was definately worth it... now if only I could get these X's off of my hands and the Black Cat Stamp............

I went to IHOP this morning with Keirn, Drew, and Jase.... and I must say, Kaiser's new eyebrow ring receives the Mary Stamp of Approval. It's HOTT with 2 t's... so that's saying a lot. Congratufuckalations! So IHOP was fun, just like old times. I don't think I've ever laughed so hard in my life... I'm going to miss these kids. It was good to see them all again. We're leaving in a few days so this was kind of like the informal goodbye and I liked it because that's the way it should be. I hate stressing over this kind of stuff, but today felt good.

So... I side swiped mom's car.

My dad was in the driveway... so he saw what happened. Nothing happened to the cars... nothing that I noticed. My car is fine and so is mom's car so I don't see what the problem is. My dad didn't get mad at me. Actually he did... but he has this way of keeping his cool and being mad inside and it kind of sucks... I'd rather him yell and be annoying than to no saying anything. Anyway this morning... was the "blame everything on Mary fest" which was fun. Anything that went wrong this morning was automatically my fault like say... the CD roms for his computer that he lost when we were moving. Too bad I don't give a shit about his CD roms and he's all "you always take my computer stuff bla bla bla" - hi last time I checked I have my own laptop thanks. Seriously... the blame game is getting real old, real fast. I leave for Virginia Tech in 4 days and if this how he wants to spend these last few days then I'm game... we just won't talk.

Conor Oberst... the force behind Bright Eyes and Desaparecidos. No words.

Speaking of...

amiindieenough: and, eyah..oberst is fucking hotttt
amiindieenough: and im not even gay
Surf N Waves 04: he really is
Surf N Waves 04: so do you have any big plans for the weekend?
amiindieenough: yeah...
amiindieenough: ok..that was a lie..no, of course, i don't...but am open to suggestions
Surf N Waves 04: make love to conor oberst
amiindieenough: i would if i could..oh. my .god..i would totally consider being his sex slave for the weekend...and, again, i'd have to reiterate to my friends that i am NOT gay, but was feeling..um....experimental
Surf N Waves 04: ha ha
Surf N Waves 04: for conor oberst what wouldn't you do
amiindieenough: there is NOTHING i wouldnt do....damn....i mean...nothing...he deserves every degrading thing he might request me to do to him sexually
amiindieenough: and i'm okay with that
Surf N Waves 04: ha ha that's the spirit
amiindieenough: maybe i should make some sort of overture...
Surf N Waves 04: hmmmm....
Surf N Waves 04: i vote no.
amiindieenough: send him nude photos of me..i mean..i'm not fat...ive got no STDs, do no drugs
Surf N Waves 04: wow you're like the perfect male
amiindieenough: far from perfect
Surf N Waves 04: all you have to do now is become a metro sexual and you're set

a) Jason is aweso+me = awesome!
b) Our love for Conor Oberst is pretty frikin deep.

EXCITATION MAXIMUS!

I'm leaving in 7 days... 7! S'ven!

Doups is such a nerd... but then again... look who's talking.

Doups of CAN: see, i read this thing on how plasma cutters work...
Surf N Waves 04: right
Doups of CAN: they get an electrode get an inert gas (whatever that means) and stimulate the electrons with an electrode, thus creating really high temperatures
Doups of CAN: once the electrons are excited enough...
Doups of CAN: the gas goes to the fourth stage of matter...plasma
Doups of CAN: now, i got to thinking...
Surf N Waves 04: you're a nerd... but go on.
Doups of CAN: if you can heat up something that quickly with an electrode, why can't u cool things down just as quickly
Doups of CAN: cause all you're doing when you heat stuff up is encourage motion on a molecular level, so why can't you use the same process to discourage motion?
Surf N Waves 04: okay i'm getting this now
Surf N Waves 04: it sounds pretty simple
Doups of CAN: i'm thinking, you can get an electrode to attracte positively charged particles of a substance, thereby fixating them in one spot and in essence, freezing them
Surf N Waves 04: yeah, that sounds just about right
Doups of CAN: the only thing that bothers me is that it's so simple that anyone anywhere could have considered and tried this before, i'm trying to figure out why if it's been done, and if not , why
Surf N Waves 04: right
Doups of CAN: cause the applications of this would be huge
Doups of CAN: and yes, i'm a nerd

Well at least he admits it... but this kid is a genius. I'm proud to be his friend and socialization mentor.

Drew on my summer job...

Lax393: lexus driving soccer mom
Lax393: not too bad of a gig

Gah... There's no chance I'll top this one next summer.

The Howie Day Experience

Tonight was perfect. Graham Colton + Howie Day + O.A.R = Triple Threat

Wow what can I say other than tonight was nothing short of amazing. This was unlike any concert I've ever been to - the atmosphere was different. I think it was because most of the people there were college students. It was like College Fest 2004. There were 8,000 people there and it was awesome because everyone could relate. There wern't any significant gaps in age. Usually when I go to a concert say HFS or Warped or maybe some of the local stuff, there are always a bunch of 12 year olds half dressed running around, but this was different in that respect where everyone was pretty much on the same level.

I also really like this venue. It's outdoorsy - you're either in the shed or you're on the lawn. I guess it's not so outdoorsy if you're in the shed, but there aren't any walls so I mean you sort of are kind of out there. The show was sold out, which I didn't think was going to happen because Graham Colton and Howie Day have more of a cult following but I guess because O.A.R is from Rockville, Maryland a lot of people came out to see them because this has pretty much been their first time back home. It was fun though, there was no pressure.... no defending yourself from mosh pits or crowd surfers so it was really laid back and I liked it a lot. We had assigned seats so even when people stood up we wern't up against each other like most people are at concerts so it was nice being able to breathe. Wolf Trap needs to have more concerts.

So Graham Colton played first and nobody was really into him - I guess it's because not a lot of people have heard of him, so I was secretly singing along. It kind of sucks for him though because the time slot that he had to play was really shitty - it was when everyone was arriving so not very many people got to see him, but regardless, I think he did a great job and this is the second time I've seen him live and it was better than the first. He's a really genuine guy and I'm going to be really shallow here and say that he wasn't too bad to look at either. :) YUM. I was sad that he didn't play any of his old songs, all the songs he played were off of his new CD "Drive" and yeah it was good but I really wanted to hear "Jessica," but that's just me... no one else seemed to be into it, but Graham for the record... my flame secretly burned for you. Ha ha I sound stupid now. But it's true - I loved it.

Howie Day was next and I mean from what I saw from his DVD that came with his Madrigals E.P. - I already knew he was phenomenal, but I never anticipated him outdoing himself live. It's like a religious experience. He sent chills up my spine. He even brought that little thing that does all the echos and recordings with him where he can play something on the guitar record it and then it plays back and then he can play over it... I got to see him use it (sorry, I don't know what it's called... I suck, I know) and it was more amazing live than it was on "The Madrigals E.P." I'm surprised more artists don't use this thing that Howie Day uses. You'd think it would catch on by now, but I mean I guess that's what makes Howie Day so unique - if everyone else started using it then I don't think I'd enjoy it as much. Underneath it all though, this guy is so talented and getting to see him live was certainly something I have been looking forward to for such a long time and now that I've finally gotten a chance to do so, I am so amazed. He seems so humble too - I wish I could have met him tonight, but I mean seeing him play was enough for me. I don't know what else to say about this guy, he is hands down my favorite artist ever. I own all 3 of his CDs all of which I can listen to on repeat for days without a single complaint. He's just phenomenal and his voice is chilling yet soothing at the same time. I love him and I don't love many things so that's saying a lot. Tonight, Howie Day single handedly made my summer. Oh on another note... nobody stood up for Howie Day which was really ridiculous considering how amazing he was... but then again Howie Day truly does have a cult following and his album "Australia" is proof of that. So I guess a lot of people were exposed to the best kept secret tonight and I hope they all picked up a few of his CDs - if not all of them because he is just amazing. One last note... his piano/guitar player is amazing. He had this awesome piano solo and it was to die for - this guy has got the goods and it made being there that much better.

O.A.R played next and of course they were crowd pleasers - everyone came to see them. I was disappointed because they played a lot of stuff from their new CD which is fine, it's just sometimes you just need to hear something more familiar that's not too overdone. Regardless, they played a really great set and also sang a few songs that wern't theirs so it made for some good times and a good change of pace. They also sang a few new songs that no one knew which is always awkward because everyone just kind of stares blankly at the stage, but the new songs were really good. It was nice to get to see what type of material would be on the new album coming out later in August. The singer also has an amazing voice - I'd do anything for those vocal cords. I was in awe to say the least. At one point during their set, they sang a song called "Fishing" or at least I think that's what it's called... and it was about a friend that had died 5 years ago. It was just so sad and it definately hit home seeing how we did lose a few people this year too. It felt really personal and I'm sure everyone there could relate to all the pain that they must have felt and just to the song in general. And of course their was an encore and we just pretty much danced and sang the night away. Oh and towards the end... or the fake end before the encore, O.A.R had a surprise guest with them... it was VACO! I heart Virginia Coalition and it was awesome that O.A.R let them have some stage time so that was an awesome surprise... the whole night was just... wow.

Oh so the people at this concert were fun. The people sitting on the lawn all brought beer so they were doing their thing and towards the end of O.A.R. a bunch of them came into the shed and this group of guys started dancing up and down the asile and it was so funny to watch, but hey - as long as they're enjoying themselves right? Then they came up to us and they began dancing so that was funny, but you just go with it... everyone was having an awesome time so hey, why not just kick back and do the same? Earlier Kathryn and I went to get some merch after Howie Day's set and as I was passing the lawn this guy grabbed my arm and I thought I knew him, but I really didn't so I was really confused and he's all "hey how you doin?" and errr... it was just a strange situation to be in. This is like the Pedro the Lion/John Vanderslice concert when those guys were like hey... wanna stand in front of me? Pick up lines are so corny - the way to a girl's heart is definately not through cheesy pick up lines so if you're really interested, try introducing yourself rather than using something really cliche such as... "holla," "are you tired, because you've been running through my mind all day" etc.... errr that kills me. But that aside, it didn't really ruin my night... I had too much fun. My vocal cords will be on a hiatus for the next few days, my throat is already starting to hurt, but hey it gives me an excuse to drink more tea so I'm down with that. :)

All in all it was THE BEST concert of the summer and I had a great time. It was a really good way to end my summer... I ended it with style... that's how we do. :)

The countdown to goodbye is never easy...

but I have finally realized that I really shouldn't dwell on it. This is just a part of life and who said life was always going to be a smooth ride? I have finally accepted the fact that I may not see some of these people again - I mean there's little use in lying to yourself... I'm okay with it though. I'm happy that I got a chance to be a part of their lives and I'm certainly happy that they were able to be a part of mine. All of them have taught me so much and if it wern't for these people, I wouldn't be who I am today... so with that, I guess I'm going to have to stop moping around and enjoy this last week with the people that matter the most.

Jason said...

TheRedFlame2: i got my eyebrow peirced..u need to come check it out

Clearly... what he really wants is the Mary stamp of approval. Clearly.

I was sorting through my room this morning trying to figure out what I need to bring with me to college and I found an email dated April 9, 2003 from my friend Rob Miera and I just wanted to post it because I have a way of losing things and I'd like to have this to look back on. I haven't talked to Miera in forever - it's been a little over a year... crazy crazy. But just for the record, I miss him and all his great advice.

April 9, 2003 9:15

Hey there!
I'm sorry to hear about that one that got away. You know there is really nothing you can do except rely on destiny to bring you back together again, or take a dive and define destiny for yourself. I'm also saddened by the fact that you are not feeling well - that can be quite a pain in the ass. I had a really bad sinus cold about a week and a half ago and I'm still feeling the effects. Hey, don't dwell on this either because you will make yourself feel even worse; it's like a crush... eventually you have to let it go. I once met this girl out at a thing kinda like yours when I was in Colorado. Anyway... we had fun together and got contact info and this girl had me in circles knowning full well that I was not going to be in a small Colorado town for a long time so maybe it's for the best. I know it sounds non romantic but the real world sucks sometimes. Don't feel bad about venting, I like to hear about poeple's stuff - it helps my life grow. Everything will be O.K. I know you'll bounce right back. By the way... the male species is doing just fine between me and this guy - we're balancing the power. Anyway, I should probably get going now, but don't stress over it - it happens, you know? Life will go on... and if you ever need anything, you know where to find me.

Miera.

Miera rocks. And I feel bad for losing touch with this kid, because he's such an amazing friend. Miera, you can be expecting an e-mail or something soon. :Þ But yeah, reading this reminds me how good it is to have someone to tell you that everything is going to be okay and really mean it or just to have someone to pick you up when you are down. Not that people don't already do that... I guess I just miss talking to Miera.

Sidenote: This e-mail makes me laugh. I am such a nerd, and for the record... Miera was right, life did go on [gasp!]. It's really funny how emo I can be sometimes when certain events occur. It's not as if it's the end of the world... but in a girl's universe it is earth shattering. I know i'm being vague... but this was not worth stressing about and even though I probably sounded like a nerd when I wrote him the e-mail to which he responded to, I'm glad I could count on him to be there and give me advice even though he probably knew this was the stupidest situation ever. Man I miss California and people like Miera. I'm so glad I'm going to San Francisco for Spring Break 2005.

PS: I love Virginians and Californians equally.

So I woke up this morning to another message from Drew that made me laugh...

Lax393: too early for dancing?
Auto response from Surf N Waves 04: Nobody's romancing cause it's too early for dancing, but here comes the music...
Lax393: its like almost 12:30
Lax393: prime clubbin time

Ha ha good times. Tech is going to be a blast! Only a few more days left.

Yesss... scrawny tall guys. Saves The Day... I lofe you.

You know that feeling you get one you randomly listen to a song that you haven't listened to in awhile and as you hear the song you remember why you loved it so much in the first place... well that's what happened tonight with Saves The Day...

Lyrics of the night: Firefly by Saves the Day.

I said I'd walk you home after our third round of pouring whiskey down the barrel of our guts and I grabbed hold of your hand. We're up and we're out and we're yelling through the streets and I'm out of my fucking mind and I know you're next to me but I must confess what's in my head. Keep pumping now, legs to beat the ground and our hearts to beat the band. The sky's on fire again. Run down this alleyway. Lightning bolts again and we become fireflies just flashing at the air. Rattle garbage cans. Prepare to be ravaged by our lust burning mad, the fire that we've become. And I know you're under me but I must confess what's in my head: To me you are the light from a light bulb that breaks sometimes and the tender warmth inside is released into my life and it smothers me in flames that lick and scorch my face. As the smoke reaches the sky, know I'll burn for you tonight.

That's the best part of the song.

I was watching the X-games earlier today. BMX guys doing what they do best. It was really interesting and I'm not really into it. I never was, but I was channel surfing and it caught my eye. Ryan Nyquist was the guy that everyone was focusing on because his first two runs were really not very good and some Cory guy (can't remember his last name... started with a B) is in the number one spot. So anyway... he only has 3 runs so his last run better be phenomenal for him to win. He's one of the veterans of BMX I suppose... like what Kelly Slater is to the Surfing world. And everyone was saying how this is the exact same thing that happened last year where Nyquist had 2 really crappy runs and his last one was awesome and that last run got him the gold medal so all the announcer guys are like yeah man if he can do well on his last run then he can take the gold and be the first ever BMX Bike Stunt Dirt Champion to receive back to back gold medals... this is all really cool and what not, but I'm kind of hoping this Cory guy wins. He's like the under dog here and yeah Nyquist is awesome, but everyone already knows that. I mean Cory has been the most consistant throughout, I don't think one last run should determine who gets the gold medal but then again that's me. I still stand firm though... Cory, I hope you win. It's kinda like when Irons beat Slator in the WCT... Kelly Slater is like what Lance Armstrong is to the Tour de France, you want him to win sure, but it's like give somebody else a chance. Actually, I take that back... Lance Armstrong can keep on winning Tour de Frances for as long as he wants. Lance go for 7 buddy, go for 7. Okay I'm going to stop talking about sports now, but I just wanted to say that my exposure to BMX for the day has been quite interesting.

You learn something new everyday.

I love lilies.

Mom bought lilies this morning. I LOVE lilies. I love lamp. I love carpet... ha ha [Anchorman for those of you who don't get it]. No but in all seriousness... I do. I think next to the hibiscus, this is one of my favorite flowers. They're so pretty. I sound corny. I'll stop, but just let it be known that this made my morning! Wooo.

I leave in a week and 3 days. That's so crazy.

Father's Day 2004 in Maryland.... yeah it was 73 degrees when I left today so it was kinda like that...

a) Look how awesome it was outside in that picture... and today was kind of like that, minus the amazing body of water and add some hardcore shopping.

Okay so this morning I went over to Reed's to get my white castle burgers. Reed had hundreds in his fridge. Too bad i'm lactose and they all had cheese in them, but that's okay - I grabbed a bunch and gave them to Yara and Kathryn. They said they were good so I took their word for it. Also, REED IS AWESOME because he gave me a white castle coffee mug. YESSSS! Made my day.

Today I did some back to school clothes shopping with Kathryn and Yara at Tysons and in Leesburg. We had some good fun there. I also saw my cousin which was random and weird and when we were in Leesburg, I saw Matt... former manager at American Eagle who is now working at Nautica. Strange strange. I hated working retail - that's one thing I will NEVER do again. With that aside, it's been an awesome day and I'm so tired. I'm "le tired." But it's been good so I'm happy... Horray.

:Þ

In my attempt to be a photographer [as seen below], I ran around the house all morning taking pictures... standing on top of chairs, sitting on the floor trying to get pictures from different angles... so about that, yeah - Failed attempt. But it was fun while it lasted.

Current music mood: Ben Folds "See that asshole with the peace sign on his liscense plate, giving me the finger and running me out of this lane..."

Life is ironic... no?

Coffee Table... via Italy.  

Lights, Camera, Transaction...  

Reverse.From the inside looking out. 

Entrance Hallway.  

Reeder in all his glory... or something?

The genius who decided to go to White Castle with Colin, Matt, and Nick. Wow they are my straight fab 5... my heroes!

Anyway Reed kept calling me last night... just to check in and update me even if I WAS asleep, I really appreciated it even if I was grumpy. :Þ Okay so anyway I get a call at 1:45am and Reed's all, DUDE we're here so what do you want, wait are you asleep?
Me: No
Reed: Liar!
Me: fine, but it's okay, what's up?
Reed: What do you want us to get you?
Me: Anything
Reed: alright bud, go back to sleep

The 4am call:
Reed: Um... yeah so, I took a turn somewhere and now we're lost in Atlantic City.
Me: what?
Reed: yeah, okay go back to sleep

Sidenote: I really was laughing underneath all the tiredness.

GG guys... G frikin G.

Please just don't play with me, my paper heart will bleed.
(PS: What ever happened to the All-American Rejects?)

FLYINkilrsquirl: i sit in the dark to let my emotions flawlessly bleed and blend in with the one thing i will always have in my heart, darkness

*It's okay LaFawnduh... it's okay.

That one little bag of my blood can save 3 lives. Sah-weet!

Horray! I finally learned how to add pictures to my blog. Yesss. Excitation. Anyway... you may have noticed a few changes to the blog lately. I decided I'd change the template since I will be starting fresh again in 2 weeks when I head back to school... my blog might as well compliment me... no? Let me know what you think.

That aside... today is August 6, 2004. The last time I gave blood, they told me that I could give blood again August 3, 2004 so I think I'm going to do that soon. I have to get some shots before I go back to school so while I'm at it, I might as well give blood too. Contrary to what people tell you, giving blood does not hurt. You may think the needle is rather large and I'm not going to lie, it really is, but you can't feel it. Also, that one bag of blood [see above] is not that large and just that much can save up to 3 lives. Worthy cause? I think so. I mean if it were me and something happened and I needed blood... I'd hope that somebody would donate some. So, the moral of the story is that giving blood is a really good thing and I mean your body regenerates it so it's all good, plus you get cookies. YUM. :) You can also be a life saver... maybe I can call you my hero or something.

PS: I still can't believe that Colin, Reed, Matt, and Nick are seriously going to White Castle. I love them. They have made my day.

This is why I can say Reed is one of the most high quality friends that I own. Ha ha I OWN YOU BIOTCH.

I2eedeI2: dude we're going to white castle tonight
Surf N Waves 04: dude i already saw it
Surf N Waves 04: boo ya.
I2eedeI2: you're the biggest loser
Surf N Waves 04: shut up
Surf N Waves 04: i was all up on that and napoleon dynamite
I2eedeI2: we saw it the day it OPENEd...we're going to the RESTAURANT
Surf N Waves 04: those were my 2 big movies
Surf N Waves 04: there's a restaurant?
Surf N Waves 04: shut up
Surf N Waves 04: where
I2eedeI2: it's a real place....
I2eedeI2: holy shit mary
Surf N Waves 04: like i know it exists duh
Surf N Waves 04: but where
I2eedeI2: new jersey
Surf N Waves 04: pssh ha ha
Surf N Waves 04: omg watch it not be there
I2eedeI2: by princeton
I2eedeI2: do you wnat to join us in the car?
I2eedeI2: we're packin' the daewoo
Surf N Waves 04: who's going
I2eedeI2: me colin matt and nicky
I2eedeI2: come with us
Surf N Waves 04: what time will we be back
Surf N Waves 04: how far away is princeton from harvard?
I2eedeI2: that's massacusetts...
I2eedeI2: and we'll be back at about 4am, maybe 5
Surf N Waves 04: yeah i don't know 5am? hmm not so much
Surf N Waves 04: you know i'd love to up the estrogen level
Surf N Waves 04: really i would
I2eedeI2: COME ON!
I2eedeI2: well come on! be rebellious!
Surf N Waves 04: Reed, omg I SO would if I didn't have to do something tomorrow... and Nick was rebellious... we saw where that got him
I2eedeI2: well FINE
Surf N Waves 04: yeah - :(
I2eedeI2: hahah
Surf N Waves 04: dude i really want to go ... seriously
Surf N Waves 04: will you guys take pictures?
I2eedeI2: lol of course
Surf N Waves 04: OMG can you bring me back some white castle
I2eedeI2: do you have a camera phone? i'll send them to you
Surf N Waves 04: call me at 5 am
I2eedeI2: okay
Surf N Waves 04: no sorry i live in the dark ages
I2eedeI2: haha
I2eedeI2: what do you want?
Surf N Waves 04: i don't know call me when you get there
I2eedeI2: okay
Surf N Waves 04: holy shit reed if you buy me white castle i will fucking cry
I2eedeI2: and love me long time?
Surf N Waves 04: i will wake up at 5am just to go over there and pick it up
Surf N Waves 04: omg i would so love you long time
I2eedeI2: YES
I2eedeI2: lol score
I2eedeI2: we'll drop it by your house
Surf N Waves 04: i live in brambleton
Surf N Waves 04: it's unmapquestable
Surf N Waves 04: oh yeah i moved
Surf N Waves 04: i don't know if i mentioned it
I2eedeI2: lol
I2eedeI2: hmmm
Surf N Waves 04: ok that's a no
I2eedeI2: okay
Surf N Waves 04: i can meet you somewhere and pick it up
I2eedeI2: lol okay
I2eedeI2: you'll eat a few with us
Surf N Waves 04: OMG YES holy shit
Surf N Waves 04: you better call me when you get there
I2eedeI2: lol keep your pants on
Surf N Waves 04: Please document this trip
I2eedeI2: i will
Surf N Waves 04: they're already off
Surf N Waves 04: make colin bring his camera
I2eedeI2: lol to film you frolicking?
Surf N Waves 04: or colin
Surf N Waves 04: either one
Surf N Waves 04: b/c you know he'd do it
I2eedeI2: lmao
I2eedeI2: okay we'll call you okay?
Surf N Waves 04: you better
I2eedeI2: peace dude
Surf N Waves 04: bye!
Surf N Waves 04: you are my hero

a) I love my friends
b) they're going to the white castle that was in the movie... wow that just clicked.

The countdown to goodbye has officially begun.

I don't know how I feel about this. Actually I'm in denial right now. I don't want to think about my feelings so I'm just going to be numb to this. I'm not sure how to act and I hate the fact that everyone is leaving, but this is just the way it goes. Another year and another round of good-byes that I have never been ready for.

Mais, c'est la vie.

Maintenant, je trouve que le temps passe vite.

Epiphany of the day: Wow i'm so single it's ridiculous.
Epiphany #2: Burger King serves better breakfast than Mc Donalds
Epiphany #3: School starts in 2 weeks, summer is gone.
Epiphany #4: I'm not ready to leave
Epiphany #5: Good-Byes are not my forte
Epiphany #6: Gas prices in Northern Virginia can kiss my butt
Epiphany #7: Cost of living is high here, but no complaints b/c the taxes aren't as bad as DC
Epiphany #8: Wow i'm so single it's STILL ridiculous.
Epiphany #9: I think Ryan Reynolds is awesome
Epiphany #10: John Vanderslice is 37. Who knew?
Epiphany #11: No one frikin cares about my epiphanies.

DONE.