Sunday, June 12, 2005

I watched the movie In Good Company tonight and it made me realize a lot of things...

1. I love New York. Not in a sleazy "I love N.Y" t-shirt vender kind of way. I want to move there, live there, hate it there, love it there. I love that city. I don't think I've ever felt so strongly about where I want to live ever in my life. I know that no matter what, I don't care how much rent is... I'm going to live in Tribeca. Please come visit. It will be grand, I will be your guide to the city and accompany you on your first ride in an NYC Taxi...

2. This may not be directly related to the storyline in the movie, but for some reason watching the movie definately made me realize something. I think that I have taken somebody who has had a strong presence in my life this past year for granted and for that I really want to apologize to him. I realize I just didn't really think twice about giving him a chance and that was really really selfish for me. But the more I think about it, I'm thinking my answer to an earlier proposition is leaning more towards a yes every day. I mean I guess we'll have to see where it goes from here. I do have my reservations though... at the end of the next school year he will be graduating and I guess, actually scratch that... I know I'm one of those really exceedingly OCD people who have to have control over their lives and the situations they put themselves in. And I guess what scares me is that I don't know what's going to happen with you after this coming year and knowing that I'm putting myself in a situation with an outcome I can't control is definately something new, but I'm willing to do it. So come what may right? We'll see. But bascially what I do know... is that I wish I would have done this sooner because I have really been missing out on such a great guy. I think it's safe to say that I am exceedingly happy with our situation right now. You know that feeling you get when you meet someone special? That's how I feel every second of the day and guess what... he's not even in the same country as me right now. Imagine that. Mary she who cannot deal with any type of distance whatsoever... yeah. Somebody's out on a limb right? I like the fact that he is so willing and understanding and I hope I do not fall short of his expectations because he has exceeded mine. And if he ever reads this or comes across this, I will be really really embarassed, but you know what... it's the truth. And I miss him and I hope he comes back soon, not that it will matter because we're 12 hours apart anyway. But I have a feeling that Fall Semester is going to be a good one and let it be known that this will be compared to this past Spring Semester (which as many of you all know has been phenomenal).

3. I disliked the ending of this movie. But of course it made sense in the "ugh, i effing hate reality and if it had a face i'd punch it" kind of way. So I suppose I am okay with it.

4. It had an effing good soundtrack... not gonna lie.

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